|It looked something like this, only picture a |
pink-ish rum drink, and two cousins sipping
from the straws a la Lady and the Tramp.
I had submitted my resume for practically every listing that was on Monster.com, and drafted a specific cover letter for each with equal enthusiasm. I was definitely putting my English degree to work, proclaiming about how excited I was for the opportunity to work at [insert company here], and how my skills at [sewing pockets in shorts backwards] could be used to benefit the company by [opening up the clothing market to people with irregular anatomy].
I was chiefly looking for work as a writer, to springboard my dream career of test-driving cars and writing articles for Road & Track magazine. I applied for menial writing jobs at several magazines, including, somewhat embarrassingly, Dog Fancy.*
Don't get me wrong. I love dogs. I have two Siberian Huskies, and I would dress them in embarrassing costumes every day if I could find any that fit. Apparently, you're only supposed to dress up cocker spaniels and such. Or the dog clothing manufacturers assume you can't get dogs who are bigger than cocker spaniels to submit to wearing embarrassing things. Au contraire!
|My dog, Saint. He's obviously very pleased to be in |
fashionable footwear, for once. He wears a size 10,
in case you're wondering.
Anyway, despite my love for dogs, I would feel a little weird working at a magazine that was dedicated solely to dogs and the people who
About a week later, I received a response. I hastily opened the letter, thinking that this was my big break. This must mean that they are going to schedule me for an interview, or perhaps--gasp!--they're offering me the job based on my carefully crafted cover letter and resume alone!
Inside was a letter and also, oddly, a stack of receipts. Puzzled, I read the letter. "Thank you for applying..." blah, blah, "It appears that you accidentally enclosed these receipts with your resume and cover letter..." Shit. I was looking for those receipts, too. Needless to say, I did not get the job. But honestly, that was sort of a relief.
* I love that, at the time of this writing, the Wikipedia page for Dog Fancy lists the breeds of dogs appearing on the covers for each month's issue starting in June 2008, but that the person who updated the page apparently ran out of steam after August 2010. Even the truly fanatical dog lovers eventually find something better to do with their time.